November 2011
1 post
1 tag
chris: we have movie theaters where you can drink
chris: and bars where you can request music videos to be played
chris: I went to see Horrible Bosses and I was out of the theater for like 20 minutes
chris: I vaguely remember Jennifer Aniston being in the movie
chris: and that's it
chris: pretty sure we were all roofied at the bar before
chris: I must've messed it up that time
chris: /creepy
October 2011
1 post
1 tag
Nguyen-ing
Matt: on a unrelated note i saw this on my newsfeed yesterday and was dying for like 5 min
Matt: "All I do is Nguyen, Nguyen, Nguyen...No matter what!!!"
July 2011
1 post
1 tag
Jessica: last night i woke up at 5am
Jessica: and then bought a mattress pad
Me: …
Mae: are you serious
Jessica: cause i was like screw sleeping on not clouds
June 2011
1 post
jessica: ok i go to softball now
me: omg
me: lol
me: i mean
me: have fun
me:
May 2011
1 post
Overheard… maybe.
A: You and [I] like the same things
B: Blondes and boobs?
March 2011
1 post
1 tag
me: it's friday!
stever: friday friday
me: gotta get down on fridayyy
stever: tomorrow is saturday
stever: then its sunday
stever: afterwards
February 2011
3 posts
1 tag
Still watching animal battles...
Matt: wow africa is crazy
Matt: a lion tried to eat a zibra
Matt: then it tried to drown the lion in the river
Matt: wtfffff
Matt: straight hood up in africa
1 tag
Live Action Pokemon Battle!
Matt: wow there are so many videos of the honey badger owning other animals
Me: cuz its THAT BADASS
Matt: its like watching a pokemon battle
Matt: Matt has encountered a wild monitor lizard.
Matt: Honey Badger I chose you!
Matt: Honey Badger....scratch attack.
Matt: It is very effective!
Me: LOL
Matt: Monitor Lizard uses Tail Whip.
Matt: The attack misses.
Matt: Honey Badger...use bite!
Matt: Monitor Lizard is paralyzed.
Matt: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FlvZ6anM81U
1 tag
She just wants the best for you.
Jessica: ...every time [they insist] something is good
Jessica: it is not
Jessica: i am a jerk
Jessica: but i feel like if i have so many calories i can eat a day
Jessica: i don't want to use them on yucky things
Jessica: and i want the same for them
January 2011
1 post
1 tag
This is totally normal for us.
jessica: when i'm tired i like to do a lot of thing things
jessica: like i am thinking in my head
jessica: i should ask py to hang out
jessica: but i am tired
jessica: i should go to the gym
jessica: but i am tired
me: i just want to go home, make a steak, and take pictures of clothes so i can sell them
jessica: i need to list my things
me: im most excitd about the steak
jessica: but i am sleepy
jessica: and should vacuum
jessica: but sleepy
jessica: lol
jessica: dah
me: mmm. steak.
December 2010
1 post
2 tags
Hating on one-lined CSS
Jade: .rule {omg: ihavenoconcept; of: newlines;}
September 2010
1 post
3 tags
caleb: bunnies live on the moon
caleb: did u know that
caleb: NOW U KNOW
me: WUT
me: oh wait im chinese
me: i DO know that
caleb: LOL
July 2010
2 posts
1 tag
Mac users know their own limitations.
evan: you should get the one that gives you cashback
me: that way i get monies from my monies for my monies?
evan: whoa
evan: too complicated
evan: i'm a mac user
2 tags
me: I've been getting QA tickets from a guy named: Gopalakrishnan [impossibly long last name containing 15 letters]
matt: me and Gopalakrishnan go way back.
me: o rly
me: mah badz
matt: total badz
matt: I'm gonna tell Gopalkrishnan what you done
matt: oops, I misspelled my BEST FRIEND'S name just now
June 2010
3 posts
a departure from sobriety.
[???]: omg i was like a bowling ball down a newly polished lane
[???]: i miss food
2 tags
We invented Mexicanese.
me: DONDE ESTA EL JAMON?
caleb: GAH
caleb: wǒ méi yǒu jamon R_R
2 tags
Whoa, now.
me: Everything he does is so bad
me: Not bad as in good
me: But bad as in bad
caleb: its impressive right
caleb: he's not even a blind squirrel
caleb: he's a squirrel with down syndrome
me: LOL
caleb: i dont know where im going with my analogies sometimes
caleb: i almost just wrote
caleb: even if he finds an acorn he just drools on it, poops himself, and hits his head on the wall
caleb: but then i thought
caleb: what the fuck is wrong with me
May 2010
3 posts
1 tag
IT'S TEA O'CLOCK, DAMNIT.
caleb: i like to keeps the major times in [my dashboard]
caleb: like im a train station
caleb: cuz i need to know about LONDON
caleb: nobody needs to know what time it is in london
caleb: not even people in london
me: i dont really care either.
me: is london even on GMT?
me: or are they like just outside of GMT
caleb: i dunno i just assume all clocks in london are binary
caleb: theres just two values
caleb: TEA
caleb: NOT TEA
1 tag
emoticon-tegration
caleb: whoa an [emails] from paT_Ty
1 tag
The Catholic Lesbaru.
Heather: P.S. I'm wearing camo pants today. And driving my grandpa's Outback.
Heather: Do you want to talk about it?
Me: No. But I will laugh about it.
Me: Hysterically.
Heather: I left the lights on my mom's car this morning. And had to call AAA.
Heather: Then my dad came with my grandpa's car and said I had to drive it so he can charge the battery.
Heather: I looked down at my pants and looked up at my car. I did that a couple more times. Then took the keys.
Heather: To make matters worse, there is a rosary hanging from the rear view mirror.
March 2010
1 post
The Monster Engine by Dave Devries →
What happens when you take children’s drawings and turn them into painted illustrations? Um, well, you get this. This is fantastically ridiculous.
February 2010
2 posts
2 tags
The soundtrack to our lives should always be like...
Matt: I have another epic song for you to listen to
Matt: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VoaUYcwEpSw
Me: thats pretty epic
Matt: I once listened to that while eating breakfast
Matt: BEST CEREAL EVER
2 tags
you hang out at the internets too much.
caleb: I had a very odd dream last night
caleb: i was hanging out with merlin mann shooting heroin
caleb: and he was trying to convince me that weed was destroying america
January 2010
6 posts
http://tr.im/L2Lm
Patricia: BUNNY
Patricia: BUNNY CAKE
Patricia: TO EATS
Me: very good patricia
Me: what color is the bunny
Patricia: \(^o^)/
Patricia: BREAD!
1 tag
learning how to be nice about being mean.
me: and the =D face makes it okay to [say mean things]
me: you fucked this up, you suck at life =D
me: see, that means it's okay that you suck at life
chris: haha
me: you're worthless
chris: the online equivalent to "bless her heart"
chris: this girl from the south taught me that...
chris: "she's ruined her life and sells her body for crack... bless her heart."
2 tags
and a year later, we're still singing this song.
me: where [is the party] at this year
caleb: hayes
me: ohyeah. hayes mansionses
me: dont fuck that shit up please
me: i want to get married there someday
me: lol jk
caleb: THE MANSION??!?!
caleb: ok promise i wont FUCK THE MANSION
caleb: somewherez in wiscansin
caleb: wait
caleb: did i just say fuck the mansion
caleb: -facedesk-
defeng: 余翠珊?
me: hmmm yes
defeng: your mandarin name is
defeng: yú cuì shān
defeng: Surplus blueish green coral
defeng: guess it fits...
1 tag
too late. you're committed.
caleb: i should change name of [foodgoesinmouth.com]
caleb: to foodgoesinmouthchewswallowthensometimelaterpoopyyay.com
1 tag
cream cheese wants to be your friend!
caleb: i swear to god im gonna block philly cream cheese's twitter acct and ive never blocked one before
caleb: they keep unadding and readding and i get an email every 3 days CREAM CHEESE WANTS TO BE UR FRIEND
caleb: but now i want a bagel
caleb: damn you philly
December 2009
3 posts
1 tag
caleb: I think I am thinking too fast today
caleb: i got 8 hrs of sleeps
me: too many sleeps
caleb: TOO ABLE TO THINK
1 tag
on the topic of mustard "prants."
me: i like [saying] "mustard" in french
me: moutarde
caleb: cuz it sounds li—
me: moo-tard
caleb: yes
caleb: exactly like that
caleb: a retarded cow
1 tag
the patty 5000 is our best model yet
me: i like the first bag better
me: but thats cuz im streamlined
me: i mean
me: i like streamlined things
me: not that _I_ am streamlined
caleb: lol
me: and aerodynamic
caleb: patty flies through the air without disturbing much of it
November 2009
1 post
2 tags
work chat fun time.
Kelly: must file radar for new voice over on engraving video [on the engraving gallery]
Kelly: "It's easy and it's free to personalize any new iPod with an engraved message. Just type in what you want to say when you place your order. At our factory, a freaking laser etches your words onto the iPod. Then we pack it up and ship it out, usually by the next day. It's that easy."
Me: "At our factory, a freaking laser etches your words onto the iPod like lightning fast."
Kelly: "At our factory, a freaking laser etches your words onto the iPod like lightning fast. Hella legit."
Me: "At our factory, a freaking bad-ass precision laser etches your words onto the iPod like lightning fast. Hella legit."
Kelly: "At our factory, the professor etches your words onto the iPod using only his mind. Do not offend him with what you say."
October 2009
3 posts
1 tag
This is my first time leaving the Shire.
careb: nah some people with names like
careb: Benjamin Butterfield
careb: with a name like that i dont think he should be doing QA
careb: he needs to be looking over a shire or something
careb: or
careb: ya know, gay porn
careb: either way
1 tag
JavaScript made better
me: lakjfkasjfksafa
me: i just typed
me: console.logy
caleb: you should make little functions
caleb: that just do the standard shit
caleb: but wif betta names
caleb: ohshitz(': O');
caleb: does an alert
1 tag
those them wild things.
me: i wanna see where the wild things are
me: but imma call it
me: whur teh wild tingz be
caleb: R_R
caleb: and sgljksdljkafljksdglk
caleb: and -facedesk-
1 tag
Mommy wants monies.
Mom: Hey
Me: whats up
Mom: just wondering will you be giving us some $$$ for our trip to celebrate our 25 wedding anni.
Me: wow
Mom: lol
Me: WOWWW
Mom: that's what daddy said too
Mom: guess doesn't hurt to ask
Me: whatever woman
Mom: he was like NO
Me: so im sponsoring your shopping on the east coast?
Me: no
Me: cuz then youll buy more
Me: ta-dah!
Mom: WOW so that's it
Mom: the end ?! really
Mom: wow
Mom: our only daughter
Me: i will think about it
Me: and talk to daddy
Mom: why talk to daddy? I don't get it
Me: YOURE SNEAKY
Me: jk hahahah
Mom: he is like standing behind me
Mom: WAS
Mom: I suppose you are saving this IM too
Me: duhhh
Mom: WOW
Mom: j/k
Mom: I love you too
Me:
September 2009
6 posts
2 tags
3 tags
A CLM? or a treat for it being Friday?!
Remember to clear your pasteboards every so often. Or just remember to copy the correct thing into an email.
Here’s the markup that will be used for this area:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X0-Sv6YnxEc
3 tags
2 tags
2 tags
August 2009
5 posts
1 tag
so it's cool to be a douchebag, i get it.
me: "ya know the frontal lobe reaches max growth at ~24"
caleb: frontal lobes are so out of fashion
caleb: get with it patty
me: im SORRY
me: i'm SORRY that it's NOT cool to achieve peak cognitive maturity
2 tags
Your Eyes Smell
Patricia: ppl who find shit like this offensive are just close-minded
Patricia: and i dont liek them
Patricia: and they can shit in their own hands
Patricia: and then rub it in their eyes
Patricia: and it will sting
Patricia: and they will get pink eye
Patricia: and then they will have to go to teh doctor
Patricia: and get eye drops
Patricia: and then the drops wont help
Patricia: cuz theres too much fecal matter in there
Patricia: and then they will get glaucoma
Patricia: cuz poop causes glaucoma
Patricia: and then they will develop cataracts too
Patricia: and then they will ened surgery
Patricia: and then they will have the surgery
Patricia: and then they will try to recover
Patricia: but they will lose their vision
Patricia: and they will wish, "hey i wish i were more open minded"
Patricia: "then i wouldnt have had to rub shit in my eyes"
Patricia: annnnnd the end.
Caleb: "cuz poop causes glaucoma"
Patricia: DONT QUESTION IT
2 tags
stripper emoticon.
caleb: i can never remember how u do the dancing guy
caleb:
caleb: (>-_-)>
caleb:
caleb: (>-_-)>
caleb: its even appropriately sleepy looking
me: good enough
me: (> '.')>
caleb: my dancing thing is fatter
caleb: and would rather eat some cake
caleb: super surprised dancing thingy (> 'o')>
me: looks like a stripper
caleb: bahahahahaha
caleb: (>'o')>$
turns out, he was wrong about the protected class...
caleb: lol this episode is so racist
caleb: it started anti semitic
caleb: then moved to japanese
caleb: then knocked on retards
caleb: which is a race now
caleb: then briefly indians
me: its not a race
me: is protected class
caleb: im gonna say something
caleb: and when im done i should just go jump off a bridge
caleb: when i read protected class
caleb: i thought: thats not possible
caleb: (in java)
caleb: thank you, thank you
caleb: imma go slit wrists now
me: wow
me: plz go do that
caleb: http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/images/razor2.gif
a rich teenager, perhaps
me: also, i look 16.
tina: you do... in clothes 16 year olds can't afford.
July 2009
5 posts
this is my friday.
me: HERE IS MY REMEDY OH OH-OH OH-OH
me: beep beep meep bloop beep boop
caleb: .....
me: beep bbep boop bloop mloop zoop zorp
me: erp ba derp
caleb: r u drunk
2 tags
do you use rubber cement or elmer's glue?
tina: i realized i needa pick up the paste on my projects lol
me: the whats a whats
tina: lol
tina: i have so many things i wanna do before summer ends
tina: its time to pick up the paste
me: OH
me: the pace.
tina: ooops
EW.
matt: i would role play harry potter
matt: it's ok hermione... since you're a muggle... this is the only way to get into hogwarts... you said you'd do anything right
matt: now then, let me use my "wand" to cast a spell ;D